Cartoon Conspiracy Theories


Doug (Nickelodeon & Disney) Some of you out there think Doug is a racist. Despite having different multi-colored peers interested in Doug, he’s only interested in Patti Mayonnaise, a blonde caucasian. I do not think Doug is a racist, he just does not like the fat chicks. However, Doug only finds the color characters funny… Skeeter.

Inspector Gadget (DIC Entertainment) Dr. Claw is the real Inspector Gadget! The main character is a robot duplicate of the man Claw once was. Claw was driven to insanity and now wants to destroy the robot. The new Gadget is part of a police enhancing program. Claw’s face is never shown in the show because it give away the story that Claw is … the Inspector. Yes Claw’s voice sounds like a someone fellating a garbage disposal but that’s his original non robot voice.

Peter Pan (Focus on Disney’s Version) Peter Pan would go back to earth to collect children. Faeries, actually pixies, who in the original myths were mischievous and evil creatures. The pixies made a deal with Peter that they would give him immortality as long as he killed children. Captain Hook is the leader of a group of teenagers, now adults, who managed to escape from Peter Pan when he decided to kill them, forming a gang of their own. At the end, Wendy’s father says he recognizes the ship. Obviously, he was once a lost boy who teamed up hook, and hook decided it would be better to just get him away from the island than keep him there. Peter Pan basically is a sociopath with strong memory disorders and anger/violence pulses … or he’s really just a rambunctious, mischievous boy who lacks discipline. He’s like any boy who has no responsible adult figure to control them. Everyone sees the world different, what’s your take?

Rugrats (Nickelodeon) All the babies are dead and figments of Angelica’s imagination. Chuckie died with his mother, which explains why his father, Chaz, is such a mess. Tommy was a stillborn and his death left lasting effect on his father, Stu. Stu has obsession with making toys stems from trauma of losing his son. Phil and Lil (the twins) are ambiguous genders. The twins mother (Betty) had an abortion and knowing that Betty was pregnant and then not, Angelica did not know the sex of the baby and thus created twins to include both sexes.

Scooby Doo (Warner Brothers/Hanna-Barbera) Besides the obvious that Scooby and the gang are potheads (always eating.. munchies perhaps, smoke flying out of the vans door when open, scooby treat… more like pot brownie) and how Fred would always split off with the two girls, who wouldn’t with that redhead? Lets focus on the theory people do not know about, that the original series is set in a horrible economic depression. Everything is abandoned and falling apart, villains are your normal people (professors, celebrities, politicians, etc.) who have fallen on hard times.

the Smurfs (NBC/Hanna-Barbera) The Smurfs are white supremacist. The smurfs wear white hats resembling hoods of the klan and the Grand Wizard, Papa Smurf, wears a red hood. They live in perfect harmony but constantly under threat from big-nosed (who in pop culture has a big nose, think about it) named Gargamel. Gargamel wants to exploit the smurfs, such as sea world exploits their animals.

Spongebob Squarepants  (Nickelodeon) Clearly victims of nuclear radiation from arms testing in the 40’s. Spongebob lives in “Bikini Bottom”, think about it. Does the creator of Spongebob secretly support equal rights like Sesame Street writers (Burt & Ernie)?


Rebecca Black “Friday” (crap “artist”) Her YouTube “hit” song “Friday” is about JFK’s assassination. He was shot on a Friday, JFK’s secret service agent yelled “Get Down” and in Black’s song, “got to get down on Friday”. JFK term was during the cold war against the Soviets, in the song it talks about Communism, “it’s friday EVERYBODY’S GOT to get down”. JFK declines breakfast in the morning at the hotel and the song mentions “got to have my bowl-got to have cereal”. The following Monday, JFK was going to sign a bill into law requiring all public schools provide bus transportation to their students, in the song “got to catch my bus…”

Last thoughts on non cartoons theories

- Sex & the City, each character represents how Carrie’s life could have turned out if she took different paths.

- Drive is the prequel for the Place Beyond the Pines

- Walt from Breaking Bad goes into the witness protection agency with the US Marshals and becomes the dad (Hal) in Malcolm in the Middle

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